Saturday, July 31, 2010

my kids, my endurance!

This morning was the Fitness Run Day for teachers in my cluster.
We had the option of running 2.4km or walk 2km.
I chose 2.4km.

Seriously, the last time I ran that much was our school's annual fitness run at the beginning of this term, which I almost died. I recalled how torturous it was to run 2.4km back in JC, and the stupid teacher forced me to get at least a silver, even though it was unnecessary for me since I'm not going for NS. Still, I'm glad I got my silver in the end.

Seriously, I dun really know if Ive poor physical stamina or simply low mental stamina.
I've always been a sprinter since young, but I've just cant run long distance.

This morning, I wanted to give up in the fifth lap. I had to psycho myself. I began thinking about what motivates me, and I thought of my kids. I'd already finished four laps, two more laps to go. It's almost the end I tell myself.

Will give up on my kids halfway through the race? If this race represents my endurance for my kids, am I giving up on them on the last lap? NO! I told myself. I must not. I cant!

And I ran on till the end. I dunno how I did, but I'm glad I didnt give up when it's most important.

My kids, my pride, my endurance!

Posted by jOzACh at 6:08 PM

Friday, March 26, 2010

angelic relocation...

I'm very proud of how my kids behaved last Wednesday when they were suddenly relocated to the Art room. I have to admit that I was rather moody that morning. The news came rather sudden, though I understand circumstances are hard to predict. I was upset knowing that I would most probably miss my EL lesson. It didn't help that we had to attend a total waste of time event the day before.

Upon checking out the Art room, I was pretty much lost at first, seeing how small the room was. I have the biggest class of 41 but I was given the smallest room. I had to cook up a way to fit my babies in the small space, which I did.

What soothes my frustration and day was how angelic my kids were throughout the whole process. I expected complaints and all sorts of nonsense, but interestingly, they comply obediently. I shed new light about them that day.

When I requested for 7 boys to volunteer carrying their tables over, it was done in seconds. The girlz waited quietly outside while the boys took initiative to help set up the classroom. They were sardine-packed yet they did not utter a word of displeasure.

I told them how proud I am of them, and I sincerely meant it. It might be trivial matter, but it meant a lot to me - to know that my kids can behave and adapt to unfavourable situations.

although i cant help but to wonder if they had behaved that way because I stepped into class and said, " I'm not in a very good mood today. Don't mess with me."

hmm... ~scratch head~

Posted by jOzACh at 11:14 PM

Sunday, February 21, 2010

My babies!!!

It has been almost a year since I last posted. Many things happened, good and bad but i shan't dwell much into it.

I'm now entering the eighth week of my teaching career. It hasn't been easy I must say. Struggling every step of the way, learning to compromise on things I love to do, and having to make decisions every now and then.

I'm the class mentor of 3A - my very first batch of babies. Yupz, that's what I call them - my babies, all 41 of them. I look forward to the day they graduate from JVSS, and hopefully by then, they've grown to be young men and women.

We had our very first quarterly birthday celebration on 12 February 2010, the last day of school before the CNY. I was looking forward to the event the entire week, looking forward to have our first class photo taken. Well, that didn't happen after all. The celebration proceeded but I was only present at the later part. By then, some of them had left school.

Frankly, I was extremely upset that day. A last minute meeting cropped up and I needed to attend it. When I found out, I had every intention to speak my mind, that my class comes first and I don't care if I will be viewed as uncooperative. Maybe it's just a celebration to some, but to me, it was an opportunity for my class to let loose and chill - our family time. It took a lot out of me to swallow my anger and accede to the meeting but even then, my disgruntled expression was emminent according to YK.

How well, the meeting ended and I caught up with my class. Some left, but at least I got to enjoy the cakes with my babies. A consolation I guess, better than nothing.

When I reflected on it, I guess this is the realism of working life. I wish I could spend more time with my kids but the never-ending work makes things difficult. What will I do then?

hmm...

Posted by jOzACh at 9:07 PM

Monday, May 25, 2009

Liberation! Aching!

Ok, it's been a long time since I last posted.
So much has happened; the good, the bad, they come as a package!
Treading through, i felt a sense of growth and improvement in myself, though I cant really pinpoint where i've grown.

Assignments are finally over, as of last week. "Kawabanggga," I would say.

I've been posted to Fajar Sec for my practicum, but the school does not offer one of the subject I teach. Will be calling MOE, so I'll probably be reposted to another school.
I just hope they don't post me somewhere inaccessible!

Have been dancing nonstop ever since last week, practically everyday, and now my body feels 60-years-old. Backaches, stiff necks, etc.

The next few months will be physically and mentally torturing. I've four performance, two of which I'm superbly low in confidence.

What boggles me are The Big Groove (TBG) and Brooklyn's Rock (I think that's how you spell it).

Performing for the latter two is an honour frankly. TBG is an annual Asia Hip Hop convention and the finale concert showcases 2.5 hours of performances from various parts of Asia , as well as Singapore. Call me a big fat liar if I say I'm least than afraid.

The immense pressure of performing on the same stage as titans if uncalled for. Carrying Danzpeople's name fuels the fear even more. What if I screw up? I'm so prone to screwing up. No, I can't screw up! I'll be skinned alive; that's considered merciful.

Then there's the extreme sense of inferiority performing on the same stage with Xiao, Erwin, Ahmad, Becky and Lina. They've had tons of experience compared to poor lil me. Sigh, I'm really fearful of letting everyone down.

I guess Yvonne & Zi Li (I think tt's how you spell her name) feels the same pressure under the shadow of Becky and Lina.


Caught this on my first try at the new mall in Bugis, Iluma. So damn cute! And best of all, it's wearing a green top. Unlike the conventional poohbear, its face looks bear-ish, if you know what I mean. haha!

Xiao said something which strikes me. He said I need to focus more on my lines. I've always thought my main problem was my sense of musicality. Maybe I've been too caught up with catching the beat that I compromised on my lines. Perhaps I should feel the music instead of trying to make sense of it with my mind.



" jOzACh want to learn to dance from the heart and not the mind"

Posted by jOzACh at 10:10 AM

Monday, February 16, 2009

EMCC + Assignments + PA + Priscilia's Bday

Alright, it's been a rather eventful past week.

First off, DANCE!

JDC concert is coming in March, so practises with NIE Dancefuzion will get more intense I guess. Went for BLAST! Exxonmobil Campus Concert last wednesday and the performance turned out to be surprisingly good. Felt great to be back in NUS again.

The whitehoods did funny stunts between intervals and the stunts turned out very entertaining. BLAST! never ceased to surprise me with creative ideas, such novelty in them. Watching them dance, I reminisce over the good old days and I can't wait for BLAST! to resume. Rock on BLASTards!

Good seats: Chris, myself, I'dil, Seok & Seok's bf

Donk crew from Shut Up & Dance '08


BLAST photo (I'm so gonna kill Daryl for the photo quality)

Next up, assignments has begun to set in. So far so good, but things are only getting more hectic. Elements of Business Skills (EBS) began today, and the first assignment is out: marketing kit. My group of 7 members are required to come up with an introductory presentation to trigger interest in the subject. It's gonna be fun, but time-consuming.

Oh, by the way, I met up with a few of my JC mates last Sunday. We had dinner in IMM, to celebrate Way Champ's 25th birthday. It was great seeing them again, but they look stressed out. Sigh, I guess that's what people say growing up will turn out to be. Champ says I've changed, and got over my dark days, but I think I'm still the same.

Instead, I'm more worried about them. The pursue of career is making life rather sour for them. At least, that's what I feel. So my new mission for the rest of this year is to meet up with them as much as possible and lend a listening ear.

My dear friends, I hope we'll still be good friends when our hair are all grey and wrinkles carve our face.

Myself, Chris, Champ & Gladys

My dance days have now increased from three days a week to four days a week. I've been wanting to join PA dance but lack the courage to show face. But now, I'm officially attending it. I gotta say that it was very tough. Pat taught 12 eights in two hours and I was losing strength and concentration towards the end.

After PA, I rushed down to Priscilia's birthday in Chevron. Met a lot of ex-Westwoodians. Bought hamsters for her, and I fear for their life expectancy. She's very much terrified by them. The girl's call 'Priscy' but the boy has yet to be named. Should I call it 'Luffy?'


Happy 17th Birthday Priscilia!!!

Melissa, Priscilia, Deborah, myself & the hamsters we bought for her.


Dancepointe with Hello Kitty cake

Posted by jOzACh at 5:24 PM

Friday, February 6, 2009

Dauntless good? Nagging good?

NIE is beginning to get more hectic! Assignments are piling up, and I'm rather laid back. Am I procrastinating?

ICT e-learning Assignment 10% (13 Feb 09)
ICT Individual Assignment 40% (23 Feb 09)
ICT Group Assignment 40% (23 Mar 09)

Ed Psych Forum 0% (15 Feb 09)
Ed Psych e-learning Assignment 0% (19 Feb 09)
Ed Psych Individual Assignment 60% (13 Apr 09)
Ed Psych Group Assignment 40% (26 Mar 09)

Language Studies Podcast (???)
Pedagogical Grammar Test (5 March 09)

EBS Assigments?

Went back WWSS to see 4Desperados today. Finally gave out the stickers after holding it for so long. They might be 4Dauntless now, but I still prefer 4 Desperados. I would rather believe that they're desperate to do well in their O-level.

Dauntless might dictate fearlessness, but if fearlessness means them not worried about their studies, I detest that name. The bible has a saying, that 'The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.' I'm not a believer, but I do believe that fear makes a person wiser. Only when you've experienced fear do you truly reflect on your actions and mistakes.

If you've lost a love one, or on the brink of losing one, that's when you start to appreciate what you have. I never did appreciate my k-pa when he was alive, always finding him annoying and disturbing, but when he fell sick and changed, I missed his old-self. And when he passed away, it hurts very deeply, and every now and then, when I think of him, my heart weeps and I fear losing my k-ma.

My dear 4Dauntless, do you not worry for your future? Have you thought through how you'll reach for your ambition? If you wait until the very last minute to panick, it might all be too late. And then what? I see potential in many of you, but if you don't harness them, what will become of them?

Frankly, I feel rather helpless sometimes. I joined the teaching profession because I want to change lives and make a difference. Many people would probably find that a model answer, but that is what I really want to do. But having gone through contract teaching for half a year, or less, I struggled to do so. It is so difficult to translate my care and concern for the students, when they don't seem to understand what I'm worrying about. And along the way, I've become a naggy fella; nagging endlessly.

It was then that I understood nagging is form of love language, so to speak. Just as parents nagged because they're worried about us, I nagged my students, because I'm worried about them. Funny huh?

Posted by jOzACh at 2:13 AM

Friday, January 30, 2009

CNY '09 in Kuching

Went back Kuching for CNY last Saturday.

Had open house on the first day. Dad catered from one of his Malay colleagues, and the food turned out extremely tasty. I can still taste the juicy beef cubes in my mouth.
It's been years and we've grown, in many ways. haha! Still, I miss the good old days we spent in St Thomas Secondary School.


Fellow Thomians
The best surprise of the day for me was the appearance of Madam Cynthia Maria Zehnder, my secondary school teacher, and one of the great teachers who've been there for me, during my down times. She's in her sixties, and she's still her bubbly old self. Her mum, whose a 'datin' is not very well unfortunately and she has to attend to her needs, rendering little sleep and loads of worries.

Mdm Cynthia & her grandchildren

How well, things were rather busy with only few days to celebrate. Rushing from one visit to another, switching between groups of friends, and wishing holidays were longer.

Got back last Saturday and classes resume as per normal. There are a number of deadlines due in February and I think I should start reading up. Haha!

Posted by jOzACh at 3:03 PM